


North American Birthdays

by A_Field_of_Starlight



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2020-06-26 17:55:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19773421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Field_of_Starlight/pseuds/A_Field_of_Starlight
Summary: It's July! You know what that means: NORTH AMERICAN BIRTHDAY PARTY TIME! YAY! America, though, is tired of his normal routine. And the Bad Touch Trio has a plan. What did Canada ever do to deserve this?Intended as an archive. Original work foundhere.





	North American Birthdays

Title: **North American Birthdays**  
Category: Anime/Manga » Hetalia - Axis Powers  
Author: A Field of Starlight  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Humor/Adventure  
Published: 07-01-13, Updated: 07-01-13  
Chapters: 4, Words: 5,255

* * *

**Chapter 1: July 1st**

* * *

Author's Note: Happy Canada Day! Happy Independence Day! I'm posting all of this on the 1st because I won't have Internet access afterwards. :'( Otherwise, I would post one chapter each day. But whatever.

For some reason, I have this headcannon of sorts that America and Canada use each others' human names when alone. And Canada isn't all weirdly invisible and super creepy-quiet at home, either. So that's how they're written.

Happy birthday North American brothers! Or is it happy birthdays? *shrugs*

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

* * *

Canada was enjoying a quiet summer morning with Kumajirou, sitting in his kitchen and sipping his coffee quietly while gazing at the mountains in the distance.

"This is nice, eh, Kumakichi?"

"Who are you?" Kumajirou asked automatically.

"I'm Canada." Canada also gave his usual response. Both of them were so used to this ritual by now that neither one could carry on a conversation without the question of Canada's identity being asked.

"I guess..." Kumajirou said, then went back to eating his breakfast.

"It's really nice and quiet..." Canada sighed happily. "Finally, some peace!"

That was when his front door was broken down. Violently. With a lot of noise. And a couple of gunshots. And an exclamation of "I'm the hero!"

Canada facepalmed. So much for peace and quiet.

"Al, what are you doing here? And couldn't you have knocked like a normal person, instead of breaking down the door?"

"Dude, the hero is not a normal person."

"Whatever. But you're paying for a replacement!"

"Mattie!" America whined. "Economy!"

"Doesn't stop you from throwing giant parties every-" Here Canada started ticking the items off on his fingers "-Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Fourth of July... Need I go on?" He crossed his arms and gave America the look.

"OK, OK, I surrender! Jeez, don't give me that look. Oh, yeah, by the way, happy b-day!"

"Thanks. So why are you here, Al?"

"Erm... Actually, it's about our birthdays..."

"Yeah?"

"Mattie... Can we have a joint party?"

Canada was stunned. "...What?"

"Can we have a joint birthday party, this year?"

"Al... We haven't had a joint party since... Well, since we were both England's colonies and didn't even _have_ official birthdays!" Canada gave his twin a quizzical look. "Why now?"

"Erm... Economy?" America offered lamely.

"Don't lie to me, Al, you know I can always tell when you're lying."

"But my economy actually _is_ part of the reason... Like, 0.0001% of the reason..." America mumbled half-heartedly.

"So what's the rest?"

"Um... Well... I just... You know..."

Canada sighed. "Fine, don't tell me. But although a joint party would be nice, it's too late already to plan for one. In case you haven't noticed, today is my birthday already."

"So you'll agree to one?" America asked, immediately perking up.

"Weren't you listening to me, Al? I would love to have one, but it's too late to arrange!"

"Oh, don't worry about that! I've got it covered already!"

Canada stared at America, his eye twitching. Everything was falling into place.

"You already planned the party," he half asked, half stated.

"Yep! The hero is always prepared!"

"You planned a joint party for us and didn't think to tell me until the day of."

"Yep!"

"And it's going to last for four days. Starting tonight."

"Yep! Hey, how did you know all that?"

Canada facepalmed. Hard.

* * *

After he managed to shoo America out of his house (and his entire country) and a quick lunch, Canada could finally relax again.

He sighed and collapsed on his bed. It was rather exhausting, dealing with his super hyper overexcited brother, especially so near to said brother's birthday.

"Come on, Kumasaga, let's take a nap."

Kumajirou crawled into his owner's bed and curled up next to the nation. Canada wrapped an arm around him, and closed his eyes, sighing in contentment.

Then the front door was kicked down again.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MEIN BIRDIE! Kesesesese, I've come to grace you with mein awesome presence!"

Canada groaned. "Maple... Not again..."

The door to his bedroom burst open, revealing a jubilant Prussia. The ex-nation jumped on his friend, holding two bottles of beer. He handed the one with a red and white maple leaf patterned bow on it to the nation in his grasp.

"Here, Birdie, let's have a drinking party!"

"Prussia... I don't think it's a good idea to get drunk so early..." Canada said, trying to give the bottle back.

"Nein, you don't understand! As your awesome birthday present, me and Gilbird have discovered a way to make MAPLE BEER!"

Canada's eyes widened, and he hurriedly opened the bottle and took a gulp.

There was a moment of complete silence.

Then Canada fainted.

"Oh crap!" Prussia hurriedly whipped out his cellphone and called France. "Hey, France, I think I broke Canada."

"Q-QUOI?"

"I think I broke Canada. You know, your former colony? The little one with the random droopy hair curl who's in love with maple? Yeah, I think he just died or something."

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MON PETITE CANADA?"

"Nothing! I just gave him some maple beer and-"

"Wait... Maple beer?"

"Yeah, it was his awesome birthday present."

"Oh. Then he's perfectly fine."

"Huh? But he's dead or something!"

"Non, mon cher, he is merely passed out in happiness. Trust me, Prusse, he is fine. I gave him some maple wine once. He was sleeping off the maple euphoria for an entire day."

"Oh, well, that is good. I thought I had broken mein awesome birdie!"

"Today is his birthday, you said? And his brother's is in a few days..." France's tone became contemplative, which is not a good thing when it comes to France. "Ohonhonhon..."

Prussia could almost feel France's maniacal smile from the other side of the world. "What are you planning, France?"

"Oh, just a little surprise for our dear young North Americans."

* * *

Author's Note: OK, I think I'll end chapter here. I suggest you read this one chapter a day for maximum effect, but it's up to you. Don't worry, this fic is rated T only for alcohol and minor cursing. And by minor cursing, I mean stuff like "crap" and "dammit" and "bastard". *cough*Romano*cough*

* * *

**Chapter 2: July 2nd**

* * *

Author's Note: Random craziness! Yay! It's fun to kidnap superpowers. Really fun. Especially when beer, wine, and tomatoes are involved.

You have been warned.

Flashback is in _italics_.

* * *

America woke up in a dark room, his head throbbing. He shifted uncomfortably, but was too weak to do much but sit up. "Where...?"

Someone touched his shoulder. "Shh..."

America turned his head toward the noise, but he couldn't see anything.

"Who are you?" he whispered.

"I'm Canada."

"Oh," America said, embarrassed. He knew how often his brother was asked that question. "Sorry. I can't see..."

"It's OK. Your eyes will adjust. Do you remember what happened to you?"

"Um... Well, after you kicked me out..."

* * *

_America frowned at his brother's door. (Well, actually, he frowned at the Canada-United States border. But whatever, close enough.)_

_"Mattie!" he whined. "_ Please _come to the party tonight! Pretty please?"_

_"Just go, Alfred! I'll come, alright? Just leave me in peace for a while!" Canada yelled from inside his house. (Somehow, the sound traveled all the way across the border. Country powers?)_

_America perked up. "Great! See you at 7!"_

_He bounced away._

_When he returned home, he immediately called up England, Japan, Lithuania, Prussia and Denmark. Prussia said he might be late, but they all agreed to go to the party. Even though England muttered something about "the bloody idiot" and "the Revolutionary War"._

_America rushed to prepare for everyone's arrival._

_Japan got there first, at 5, to help America prepare the food. His eyes bugged out a little when he saw how much America wanted to make._

_"Um, America-kun... Is it necessary to make so much food? Didn't you say you only invited 6 people?"_

_"Yeah, but the whole world will most likely end up coming."_

_"Uh..." Japan doubted the truth of this statement, but didn't ask. "Whatever you say, America-kun."_

_But America's statement was soon proven true. A few minutes after Japan's arrival, Turkey and Greece popped up, arguing over who Japan liked more. (Japan merely sighed.) They were followed by Egypt and a bunch of cats. America merely smiled and put out some cat food._

_Next to arrive was Lithuania, who brought the Latvia and Estonia along. He was followed by Poland, who was chattering about ponies, and Russia, who was being stalked by Belarus, who was being trailed by a tearful Ukraine. America yelled something about commies infiltrating his party, but was quickly calmed down by Japan and Lithuania._

_After the former Soviet Union members settled down, Denmark showed up dragging Norway with him. Finland, and thus, Sweden, were following with Iceland, who brought along Hong Kong, who contacted South Korea, who somehow managed to drag along China, Vietnam, Taiwan, Tibet, and Thailand, who was followed by India as they had been in the middle of an Elephant Lovers Club meeting. Finland and Sweden also brought Sealand, who managed to drag all of the other micronations along as well._

_England was the last of the invited ones to arrive (besides Prussia). He was being stalked by France, who brought Spain, who dragged along Romano, who was followed by Italy. Germany was dragged along by Italy, and was followed Austria and Switzerland, who wanted a free meal, and brought along Hungary and Liechtenstein._

_Cuba and Netherlands, after hearing that the party was for Canada as well, showed up with Belgium, who brought Seychelles._

_Prussia popped up a few minutes after 7, a grin on his face. He went up to America._

_"Hey America! Birdie told me he wanted to tell you something."_

_"Oh, Canada's here? Dude, that's great! Where is he?"_

_"He's outside. Here, I'll take you there."_

_Prussia lead America out into the yard, where France and Spain were waiting. America looked around in confusion._

_"Where's Matt-"_

_A tomato smacked him in the face, and the world went black around him._

* * *

Canada giggled. America glared at him.

"Mattie! Stop laughing! I swear, that tomato was unnatural! Spain probably spiked it with something! Or France did! You lived with him! You know what he's capable of!"

Canada burst into a fit of laughter. He gasped for air, tears streaming down his face.

"That's... That's worse than what happened to me! Maple... That's too funny..." Canada finally managed to gasp out.

America, annoyed, tugged on his twin's curl. Hard.

"Ow! Alfred! What was that for?" Canada rubbed his head, frowning.

"Stop laughing and tell me what happened to you!"

"Oh. Prussia drugged me with maple beer."

America's eye twitched. "What."

"Prussia gave me maple beer. And I passed out. Remember what happened when France gave me maple wine?"

"Pfft. _That's_ what happened to you?" America rolled his eyes and laughed.

Canada, smiling, stole Texas.

"Hey! Mattie, give Texas back!" America lunged toward Canada, missing his glasses completely. He snatched Quebec instead. [A/N: Yes, I've made Canada's glasses Quebec. Deal with it.]

"Hey! Give that back!"

"Never!" America put the glasses on. "Hey, I can actually see through these! Hey, does this mean Quebec is now part of the US?"

"If it does, then Texas is now part of Canada." Canada put his twin's glasses on and smirked.

"NOOOOO! Not Texas! Anything but Texas! Give it back!" America playfully grabbed at his brother.

"Never! You can keep Quebec!" Canada said, laughing and dodging America's advances.

"Noo! I don't want France-y stuff in me!"

"The correct term is French!"

"Whatever!"

America finally succeeded in catching Canada, and returned the state/province glasses to their correct nations. Then he got serious again. "What's with Prussia? I mean, kidnapping you on your birthday? Not cool! The hero is going to go knock some sense into him!"

He got up and stomped over to the door, gripping the handle.

"Al... The door is locked..."

CRACK!

"Not anymore!" America turned with a grin on his face, the door handle ripped straight out of the door. Canada sweatdropped.

"Oh yeah... Super strength..."

"C'mon! Let's go show them what North America is made of!"

* * *

After wandering around for a few hours, they were back where they started. America was very annoyed.

"What the heck? Is this place a maze or something?" He stomped over to the wall and punched a hole in it.

"Ve~! Si!"

"Dammit, fratello! Shut up!"

Both Canada and America had WTF faces.

"Uh... Did I just hear Italy? Both of them?" America asked Canada.

"Ve~ PAAS- MMPH!"

"CHIGI! What part of 'Shut up' don't you understand!"

"Yes, you did," Canada responded.

The North American brothers peered into the hole that America had created in the wall to find the Italy brothers crouched in the hollow space inside of it. Italy was visibly trembling in fear, while Romano's face was as red as the tomatoes he loved so much.

"What are you looking at, you bastards!" he yelled.

America adopted a very Russia-esque grin, while Canada randomly summoned a hockey stick out of nowhere. Together, they ripped the wall open, and the Italians tumbled out.

"You'll tell us what you know now," America said in a singsongy voice.

"Ve! Don't hurt me, I'll tell you everything! It was all Spain's idea! he told us to hide in the wall and spy on you and make sure you couldn't get out until AHH!"

This last was because Romano started shaking him. "Dammit, fratello! Don't tell them that, or else that bastard France will-" he shuddered. "Well, you know!"

"Ve, but that hockey stick is scary!" Italy pulled out his white flag and started waving it and yelling "Please don't kill me!"

Canada and America exchanged a look.

"Relax, dude, Canada's not going to kill you. He's too nice to do that."

"Eh, I wouldn't say that. But I won't harm you _too_ much. After all, we're not at war."

"So tell us. What is going on? And don't worry about France, we can deal with him."

Romano glared at him. "He's in Europe with us, dammit, and you're in North America! Stupid hamburger bastard!"

"HEY! Who're you calling stu-"

"Relax, Romano, he's my former papa. I'll talk to him."

"Fine. But I won't tell you anything other than this: I hope you're in good physical condition, or you _will_ be screwed. Everything will start tomorrow, so I suggest you get some sleep. It's already 9 pm, and you will need a full eight hours, at least."

Romano tugged on Italy's arm, and the two retreated into the wall at Italian retreat speeds. Before America or Canada could do anything more than blink, they fell through a hole that randomly opened up underneath them, Italy screaming in terror and Romano yelling "CHIGIII! SPAGNA, YOU BASTARDO!"

The hole closed, and America started pounding on it. "NOOOOO! Our escape route!"

Canada just sighed. "We might as well take Romano's advice and get some sleep. If he's telling the truth, who know what will happen tomorrow."

* * *

Author's Note: Canada, Canada. Forever the sensible one. And yes, he has the power to summon hockey sticks. And yell across his border. What did you expect?

Actually, the yelling across the border thing comes from a strip of Himaruya-san's. It's called Lazy Comic Country, and in it, China yells at Japan (and Greece) from across the ocean that separates their countries. It's also kinda-proof for Giripan. Go look it up. It's... awkward, but interesting...

A note about the Elephant Lover's Club: In one of the W Academy episodes at the beginning of Beautiful World (I forgot exactly which one), when the Axis is interviewing clubs, there is a really short shot (it's, like, one second long) of Thailand and India standing next to elephants, with the label of Elephant Lover's Club (or something close to that). Therefore, INDIA IS NOW CANON! YAY!

A note about Quebec: Yes, I decided that Canada's glasses represent Quebec. My reason? Well, Quebec is a well known province, much like Texas is a well known state, and Quebec has that thing where it wants to be its own country, so Canada has to keep an eye on it. Sorry for the horrible pun. I'm sorry if there's already a province the fandom says it represents, but I haven't come across it yet. And yes, I know there's a Canadian province that's described as Canada's Texas. I forgot which one it is... *hangs head in shame*

* * *

**Chapter 3: July 3rd**

* * *

Author's Note: I don't even know how America and Canada ended up in a _maze_ , of all things. My original plan was for them to party the entire time... Shows how well I follow plans...

* * *

The next morning, Canada was woken up by America's scream of terror.

"Hnn? Al... What- MAPLE!"

Standing in front of them was a monster. Well, to be more precise, a Japanese demon creature called oni. America screamed again.

"Oh, maple..." Canada whipped out his hockey stick from the day before and bashed the thing on the head.

"Ow! Birdie! What was that for?"

America and Canada stared at the creature. "P-PRUSSIA?"

"Yeah, it's the awesome me!" Prussia said, taking off the costume. "What're you staring for?"

"Prussia," America practically growled. Canada rushed over to restrain his brother.

"Let go, Mattie! Let me at him! He kidnapped you on your birthday!"

"Al, calm down! Think about it! Prussia's the only other person since the Italy brothers that we've seen here! We should at least listen to him. You can beat him up later!"

Prussia nodded vigorously. "Yeah, listen to Birdie!"

"Fine! But I'm keeping my eye on you, Prussia. Be glad you're not an actual nation anymore, and that I've got nothing against Germany, or else I woulda nuked you already!" America stopped struggling against his brother.

Canada cautiously released his southern neighbor, then turned to face his friend.

"Prussia, you'd better have a good explanation for this, or I won't let you have any maple syrup or pancakes for ten years."

"What? No, you can't do that, Birdie!"

"Then explain. Or you don't get your pancakes."

"Nein! Please, I'll tell you anything! It was all France's idea! He decided that he wanted to give you both a birthday surprise! So he basically bribed or blackmailed the entire world into helping him!"

"Wait... _Everyone_ was in on this?" Canada and America asked simultaneously.

"Well, not everyone. Switzerland and Liechtenstein didn't approve, and Switzerland basically shot France when he tried to make them help. France couldn't really figure out a way to make the Nordics except for Denmark help, and he was too scared to ask Russia... But Russia decided to help anyways. I would watch put for him if I were you, America. Um, who else... Oh, yeah, France didn't really have anything to tempt or blackmail the Asians with either, so they stayed out of it. Although, knowing South Korea, they've probably been dragged into this anyways... Umm... All of Europe got dragged into this, so... Just watch out, ok?"

Canada rolled his eyes and sighed. "Great. We have to deal with the crazy Europeans."

"Hey! Birdie, you wound me!" Prussia whined.

"Serves you right for kidnapping him on his birthday!" America shot back.

They started arguing, leaving Canada standing there arguing.

"Oh, for the love of maple... CAN YOU BOTH SHUT UP?!"

Silence fell, and both self-proclaimed awesome nations turned toward the northern one.

"OK, Prussia, how do we get out of here? And you'd better not tell us you don't know, because clearly you do."

"That's easy! First, you take an awesome right turn at the end of the hall, and just keep turning right until you get back to this room. Then you'll know what to do! Bye!"

He ran out the door and disappeared in the distance.

"Uh... That was weird..."

"No kidding..."

Both of the North Americans stared after the ex-nation's retreating form.

"Well, we might as well follow his instructions..." Canada said.

"Yeah. C'mon, Mattie, let's go!" America ran off, forcing Canada to run after him. After a while, they got back to the room they started in. Except now there was a random lever in the middle of the room.

"Hey, dude, look, a lever! Let's pull it!"

"No, Alfred, don't-!"

The floor fell out from under them, and they tumbled into the darkness.

* * *

"Ow... Maple... Al, you're heavy! Get off!"

"Sorry, Mattie!"

"You _had_ to pull the stupid lever. You just _had_ to. Did you forget that this is Europe we're dealing with?"

"What else was I supposed to do?"

"Ugh. You know what, never mind. What do we do now?"

"Explore! C'mon, bro!"

America helped (well, more like jerked) Canada to his feet and set off in a random direction. Immediately, they were assaulted by a shouting, flying South Korea.

"Uri nara mansae!"

"Mmph! Korea, dude, get off! What's with the random fly-tackling?" America said, pushing the hyper South Korean off of him.

"Fly-tackling people originated in South Korea, da ze!"

"Yong Soo, aru! Get back here!"

"ANIKI! You're breasts belong to me, da ze! So do Japan's!"

"No, they do not, South Korea-kun."

"Can I smack him with my paddle?"

"Please do."

"Hey Taiwan, if Vietnam gets to smack him, can I set my elephants on him?"

"Hey! They're not only yours, Thailand! Remember, those elephants are Indian. Indian!"

Canada facepalmed. "Maple... They're almost worse than Europe..."

"Hey, isn't someone missing?" America asked, looking around.

Said someone appeared with a bang. Literally. Hong Kong burst onto the scene riding a giant firework rocket.

"Aiyaa! Hong Kong, aru, what did England and I tell you about setting off fireworks indoors?" China waved his arms around in panic.

"Sorry. I guess." Hong Kong wasn't the least bit perturbed by his mentor's freaking out.

"America, Canada, we're supposed to tell you that you need to go that way." He pointed. "Also, I hope you're proficient in riding fireworks."

The Asians left, arguing the entire way. Canada could have sworn China and Japan had gotten out their wok and katana by the time the continent disappeared around the corner.

"OK... I guess we have no choice?"

"Nope! Go on! And recognize my sovereignty, desu yo!" Sealand randomly appeared with the other micronations and gave them a push.

"Ahh!" The twins tumbled down a slope and came to a rest at the edge of a canyon.

"Cool!" America leapt up and pointed towards the string that was strung across the gap to the other side. Attached was a small basket-platform thing, with fireworks attached to the sides.

"Let's go ride that!" He tugged on Canada's arm.

Canada sighed. "Do I have a choice?

"Nope! C'mon!"

America shoved Canada into the basket, and set about lighting the fireworks with a random book of matches he found somewhere. Canada quickly settled into a relatively safe position. When he was done, America jumped on.

"Hang on!"

The fireworks exploded, propelling the two across the gap.

"MAAAPPPLLLEEEE!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Oof!" The brothers tumbled out of the basket, landing in a heap on the other side.

"Dude, that was fun! Let's do it again!"

"No, let's not..."

"Oh, come on, Mattie! You're the one who likes hockey and extreme snow sports!"

"There are no fireworks left," Canada pointed out practically.

"Oh... Right. Well, let's go!" America ran down the only hallway, pulling Canada behind him.

They reached a dead end.

"Huh? Mattie, this was the only road, right?"

"Yes... I wonder if someone is going to jump out at us now..."

And indeed, someone did. A hole opened up in the wall, and Spain jumped out with Romano, Italy, and Germany.

"Viva España!"

"Shut up, tomato bastard!"

"Ve~! Ciao! Say hi, Doitsu!"

"Oh... Uh... Guten tag."

"Ve~! That way!" Italy pointed to the hole he had come out of.

Romano and Spain both threw tomatoes at the twins while they ran away.

The rest of the day passed in much the same way.

England tried to get them to eat his food. They ran.

Greece set his army (IT'S THE GREEK ARMY! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!) on them, with Turkey chasing behind. They ran

Hungary chased them with her frying pan while Austria played his piano in the background. They ran.

Russia... Well, Russia was just Russia, chasing them while dragging the Baltics along and being chased by Belarus and Ukraine. They ran even faster.

The Nordics went Viking on them. They ran for their lives..

They finally collapsed somewhere in the maze, gasping for air.

"Crazy... Europeans..." Canada managed to say.

"I... know..." America responded.

Then Canada noticed something.

"Wait... This is where we started!"

"What?"

"See, look over there! That's the room we started in!"

"Crap! Screw Europe, when we get out of here, I am so declaring war on them! Mattie, you'll be my ally, right?"

"Do you _want_ to destroy the world? There's a _reason_ everyone, particularly _me_ , was so freaked out during the Cold War, and it was not because of Russia! Ever heard of 'nuclear armageddon'?"

"Aw, Mattie! You had to ruin the moment!" America whined.

"I don't want my country destroyed!"

"I would never destroy Canada!"

"Yeah, but others have no such qualms. You're right next to me, Al. If their aim is slightly off..." Canada trailed off, then gave his brother a playful shove. "Let's to see if there's another random lever, OK?"

"Yeah. I call dibs on pulling it!" America ran into the room.

"No, Al, don't!" Canada chased after him.

Suddenly, America stopped dead in his tracks, causing Canada to crash into him.

"Al, what...?" His eyes widened.

"The... The door... It was here... the entire time?!"

"Europe. Is. Screwed." America stated.

"Maple..." Canada practically growled.

As the clock struck twelve, they burst through the door.

* * *

Author's Note: I had way too much fun having America threaten to bomb Europe. Way too much. Oh, well, I'm North American and Asian, so it doesn't concern me! *hides from all Europeans' glares of death* Noo! Don't kill me! Please! I'm too young to die!

A note about the Cold War: I saw this really cute fan art once about the Cold War. It was America, Russia, and Canada eating ice cream cones, except America and Russia were fighting with theirs instead of eating and Canada was just kind of stuck between them, hunched over and being all like "Please stop..." IT WAS SO CUTE! But it's historically accurate, as Canada _was_ stuck between the US and the Soviet Union during the Cold War. Ah, how I love historical accuracy...

* * *

**Chapter 4: July 4th**

* * *

Author's Note: Guess what? I'm still alive! Europe didn't catch me! Although I think Spain is still chasing me in yandere mode with his battle axe... *runs*

Explanation of headcannon: I believe that before Europe came to the Americas, America and Canada were just two representations of the same land. Like, they both represented the North American continent, and there was no difference between their land. They shared it. Just keep this in mind, and the end will make more sense.

* * *

"Happy birthday, North America!"

The North American brothers tumbled out onto a wide grassy plain, fireworks exploding above their heads and the entire world standing before them, smiles on their faces, and a giant 'Happy Birthday!' (in multiple languages) banner in their hands.

They were immediately swept into a river of hugs, high fives, handshakes, and congratulations.

"Ve! Buon compleanno! Doitsu! Japan! Romano! Say happy birthday!" Italy hug attacked the North Americans.

"Oh, uh... Alles Gute zum Geburtstag..." Germany said awkwardly.

"Otanjoubiomedetouozaimasu, America-kun, Canada-kun." Japan bowed respectfully.

"Buon compleanno, North American bastards..." Romano grumbled.

"Feliz cumpleaños!" Spain randomly popped up from behind Romano.

"Ohonhonhon... Joyeux anniversaire!" The rest of the Bad Touch Trio popped up too, and grabbed a twin each, spinning them around in circles.

"Alles Gute zum Geburtstag! Kesesesese... Do you like the awesome party we arranged for you?"

"Well, yeah, but don't think this means your off the hook for kidnapping Mattie!" America said, breaking out of Prussia's grip.

"Not even if I managed to get England to attend?"

"... Happy birthday, bloody git... You too, Canada."

From there, the rest of the countries also crowded around them.

"Shēngrì kuàilè, aru! Hong Kong, Taiwan! Greet the hosts!"

"Humph... Shēngrì kuàilè, I guess..."

"Hong Kong! What was that? Shēngrì kuàilè, America, Canada. Please excuse my rude younger sibling."

"Saeng-il! Birthdays originated in me, da ze!"

"No they didn't. Kolkolkol... S Dnem Rozhdeniya, Comrade Matvey, Amerika! Say happy birthday, Baltics, da?"

"D-daudz laimes dzimšanas dienā..."

"Palju õnne sünnipäevaks!"

"Su gimtadieniu!"

"Hey, Liet! Like, don't leave me! Oh, urodziny, America, Canada!"

"Hyvää syntymäpäivää! Hey, Su-san, aren't you going to say something?"

"Hmph. Har den äran."

"Hahaha! Fødselsdagen, my friends!"

"Shut up. Gratulerer med dagen. Iceland, what do you say?"

"Hamingju með afmælið. And no, I will not call you onii-chan."

"Boldog születésnapot. I'm sorry for chasing you with my frying pan."

"I hope you liked my music, though. Alles Gute zum Geburtstag."

"... Charoúmena genéthlia..."

"Cat freak! Oh, yeah, mutlu yıllar, America and Canada."

"Z Dnem Narodzhennya! Belarus, please come say happy birthday to America and Canada!"

"... Z Dniom Naradžennia... Now let me go back to brother!"

When they were finally able to extricate themselves from the crowd of people (read: when the food arrived), they were exhausted. As they should be, after a day of running around in a circular maze while being chased by random nations.

"Well... That was unexpected..." Canada said, sitting down on the grass.

"Now that they've thrown us this party, I don't have an excuse to nuke Europe anymore!" America flopped onto the ground next to his twin. "Hey, where exactly are we? I keep feeling as if I'm in my country, then not, then in it again. Right now I feel like _I'm_ in my country, but I can't feel you at all."

"We're on our border. I'm on the Canadian side, you're on the American side. That's why you can't feel me."

"Cool." America smiled, looking up at the early morning stars. "They picked a nice place for this party."

Canada, too, looked up, smiling too. "Border customs is probably freaking out right now."

"Let them freak out. We're nations, we deserve a rest once in a while!"

Canada laughed and shoved his brother to the ground. He, too, leaned back, and on a whim, he grabbed America's hand.

They lay there like they once did when they were colonies.

Like they did when they were still young and innocent, when the weight of their world rested on someone else's shoulders.

Like they did before war tore them apart, one going off on his own and the other staying loyal to the end.

Like they did when they were one land, and could feel each other at all times, before the outsiders came and made them separate.

Together they lay there, at the joining of their lands, and smiled up at the stars.

* * *

Author's Note: And so ends my first birthday story as part of the fandom! I'm sorry if I totally screwed up the happy birthday phrases. I used google translate...

Also, kinda depressing ending. Sorry. Here, have a random omake.

Random Omake:

"Happy birthday, North America!"

Mexico and Central America, who were hiding behind some bushes, leapt up and shouted, "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE REMEMBER THAT WE'RE NORTH AMERICAN TOO?!"


End file.
